Wednesday, February 21, 2018


After our therapeutic stint at Dunton for Beth and Ed's wedding, Murphy and I traipse northwest to Vancouver to meet up with Lauren and Chase for a few days of reindoctrination into civilization.


I had not been to Vancouver save for driving through it late one night on the way to Whistler (and back), so this is all new to me; it has always held a certain allure for me, and I guess that consistently only hearing positive things about a place will do that to a guy. So with minimal hesitation, we sign up to contribute to the local economy for a handful of days.

We provide ourselves with a cool little Airbnb in the Point Grey neighborhood, so we're able to walk to a few things and are close enough to have quick drives to the rest as Chase and Lauren have brought their car from Portland.

Skyline from Point Grey-ish

Girlz time

When we visit big cities, we tend to fall into a pattern of coffee-food-cocktails-run-rinse 'n repeat, and this trip is no exception. So rather than beating that horse to death, maybe it's worth noting some stuff that falls outside that pattern, with a few exceptions of course.

There's one neat evening along the water in Stanley Park, including a run and all sorts of people-, ship-, and wildlife-watching through dusk.

Stanley Park sunset


The waiting game

Dusk from Stanley Park


Then there's the clothing-optional Wreck Beach near the university, which is massive and full of characters. We arrive late in the day and it's starting to empty out, but it's a pretty cool scene nonetheless, with everyone using the big logs on the beach for shelter. There are plenty of normies here too, so we don't feel out of place by virtue of not disrobing; anyhow, it closes at sunset and we'd have nowhere to put the car keys...much less the camera...

Ninja Warrior episode in the making

Along the path to Wreck Beach

Another highlight is the Kitsilano Pool, which is a gloriously-odd 137m in length, which means that a few laps might be all you need. There's really only one lane for the lap swimmers, but there's so much passing room that it's ludicrous to suggest that you might need more organization. Murphy and Lauren get chatted up by an Olympic swimmer, so they're all starstruck by the time we leave.

Kitsilano Pool in all its glory

There are several memorable meals, spanning sushi, multiple examples of excellent ramen, fish 'n chips, and of course many many pastries.

You had me at hello

Without a doubt, the culinary high point is a post-run late-evening sushi experience, wherein we believe the menu contains an adorable translation mistake on some special shrimp:

"Tell waiter if you want fried after"

Which we interpret as "you can get the shrimp fried or unfried, and we've used the word 'after' like 'after all' or something like that, which the Irish and British tend to do."

When actually, the menu was exactly correct in meaning:

"After you eat the shrimp, your waiter will appear and ask you if you want him to take the shrimp heads away, deep fry them, and return them to you to eat, because nothing goes to waste."

The only problem with this is that the deep fryer melts the little tchotchkes we've attached to the shrimp heads to say whose is whose as though they're wine glasses, but that means that the deep fryer also melts Chase's syphilis away, so I guess the correct one to eat is the one closest to you, you goddamn germaphobic numpty.

Also, deep fried shrimp heads taste pretty much like you expect them to: broken light bulb, laden with arterial plaque, and with a faint hint of ocean.

Pastries within

Another day, we make a day trip to Squamish, specifically for a visit to a recommended fish 'n chips shop, but also for a run up in the mountains in Garibaldi Provincial Park.

Award for the most un-Canadian but still hilarious moment of the trip comes at the Park's information center just off the highway. I patiently wait for a full ten minutes while the sole ranger chats with a pair of hikers about every trail and camping option in the park without even acknowledging my existence or "hey gimme a minute to finish up with them" or "hey do you just have a quick question." After I finally give up and hold my phone in obvious photo pose above the section of the counter with their big laminated map on it so that I don't die in the woods, the ranger spots me out of the corner of her eye, sprints over, and, I shit you not, dives to cover the map with her body, shrieking at me that it's copyrighted and if I want a map I have to pay for one. She is -dead- serious. I have an amazing photo of her fast-moving arm starting to cover the map, but I won't share that because it's copyrighted. However, it serves the purpose of not letting us get lost in the woods, thankyouverymuch.

We have an awesome run, and the weather and views are picture-perfect. Could totally go for days up there, but alas, we're short-timers. Afterwards, we make a hasty retreat for our fish and chips and beer, proper reward for propelling ourselves up a mountain.

Quick mish in Garibaldi; find the Chase

Award for the most Canadian and hilarious moment of the trip comes at the chippy when I hold the door open for an exiting Canadian couple, who greets me with "Sorry! Sorry!"

On another day, we feel obligated to visit the tourist trap of Granville Island, but the fine merchants there include a distillery, so not all is lost, and food markets make for great people watching, anyway.


Bridges and fancy flats

Oh yeah, and mind those fuckin' seagulls; they're total gangsters.

Safety first, kids

Utilitarian architecture


All in all, we have a lovely few days and leave there with fond memories and appropriately-lightened wallets. Another benefit of visiting Vancouver is that we can hop on a nonstop flight to AKL from YVR, which softens the blow of being on the wrong side of the equator.


If you're nice, I'll share some more photos from the flight home, during which we get treated to a pretty amazing and lengthy sunset on our way out of town.


No comments:

Past Detritus